Writing this, is a nanny. A nanny who takes care of other’s children. You simply can’t imagine the amount of pestering I go through each moment. Motherhood, something I certainly do not possess, however, act on having some. This job I’m into, was not something I had ever dreamt of, nor applied for out of passion. Applying for this job hit me hard just when there was no other “workable” options open at the time of my quitting my internship at a well known Research center.

You won’t believe I’m capable of conducting research even at field level, do you? I had completed my graduation having major in History and Ethnicity. I know my job very well so do the workplaces available. After having completed necessary studies in this field and being inspired by my professors, I thought of taking it as a profession. Research is not just a survey-database-analysis for me. It goes beyond those sheets of questions and answers to the accomplishment of deriving information from scratch. I loved this work and decided to join this big center for research a year ago. Luckily, I got selected for internship on a 3 month long program for 15 among 124 applicants. That’s where my inspiration for applying for Nanny came alive!

I was really excited on the first day, no, I was nervous! Yes, I was nervous of the new setting and the latest change in environment around. So I smiled at everyone just to click on the right person to receive some warmth back. That’s something I so to test the rigidity of the people around. There were around 30 people in the office including the guards. It was a big place, not crowdy though. I liked everything, starting from the photocopier to the pot plant in the washroom.

That was me trying to find joy in every object I came across. People on the other side felt it in a different way. So I was asked to make photocopies of some “important” documents. Even without reading them, I rushed to the photocopier and took 5 copies out in the least possible time, thinking, the project might halt in case I delay! Just imagine the innocence I had. Then when I got them on the desk, my supervisor said, “where are the other copies?” “Well, I thought it’s for the people inside the room, I counted 4”, I replied. “Who told you to put your brain into work? Hey, is she new? What’s she doing here in my cabin? Marx?” This gave me shrill, I felt sad and held on to my tears finding it stupid to let them flow in front of him. Some guy named Marx came in and said that I got appointed as an intern. My supervisor asked Marx to get 50 copies done within 10 minutes without bothering about my presence. Coming out of the room, Marx handed me with the original asking to get the instruction followed in 10 minutes.

Later that day, I made photocopies for over 20 times, regardless of the departments needing them; made coffees for around 20 times for God knows how many! To my surprise the entire day passed making me realize that I was not assigned to any “Chair” in the office and was not asked to sit even for a minute. I froze. I felt numb actually. Went home, spend sleepless hours, thinking over my future, thinking of my “Chair” to ever get allocated in the years ahead, thinking more and waking up at 5 a.m. in the morning. This continued for a good 2 weeks.

On the 15th day of my internship, I wrote to my supervisor about the inconvenience of mine over the work condition and my decision of moving on. Fortunately enough got a reply within 2 minutes and I left the office for good saying bye to my mates – photocopier, coffee-maker, A4 papers and plat-pots.

Raising these kids seem more logical to me now, at least they have a reason to pester me over their nappies and potties. I never curse their parents for making the mistake in the moment of joy and leaving me with this “job” as atonement, I somehow got used to.